So I am truly on my own – some decisions have been made in the last few days, and I know intuitively what needs to be done.
The relationship has ended. I knew this should have been done long ago, and I just didn’t want to face heartbreak. We had so much fun and happiness but way too many differences to build a life together.
You have probably heard this saying. I understand it more than ever:
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
This man whom I still love came into my life for a reason and a season. I see it as he helped me understand I could fall in love again after the devastation of losing my husband. He made me feel some joy, happiness, and optimism in my world again. What a gift he gave me.
Sadness
My first initial reaction to the breakup? I wanted to go to bed for 3 days, pull the covers over my head, and cry. But instead forced myself to go out with a friend that put everything into perspective.
At this age (63), it is so important I focus on what makes me happy – and I really want to have that last chapter be about fulfillment, bucket lists, and building a group of friends that can support each other and give purpose and joy to my life.
Though I am struggling with sadness – I prayed a lot. What came to me was that I needed to get off my duff and write the book I needed to. I have been talking about it for a long time, and I have mentioned it before. I kept a blog of my journey with my husband, which will be the basis of the book.
Purpose
This book will be about my life with my husband once we were given the diagnosis. This story will take me back into that world, but I think it is needed to be able to help others going through this. I don’t want to re-live it, but I think it will help me heal. I am sure there are many more tears I need to shed that I hold back. I will always grief but to fully heal from the trauma and pain, I need to take this journey.
As I see it, this is my life’s work – I feel it intuitively. To help you all with your struggles of pain and heartache. Now almost 4 years out, I can see that you too will be able to get through the darkness and build a life – one that will always be void of the one you love. The grief, I believe, never ends. But you can be happy and vibrant and live a life full of hope, enjoyment, and joy once again.
Moving On
Stay tuned for more articles on my journey to healing while dealing with this thing called life.
Let me hear your stories lets build a connection. Please feel free to ask any questions you may have.
Deep breaths, and here we go…