Urgent – I want to put the word out, please, when planning your estate and trusts, get a good lawyer – one that may cost a little more.
My story began when my husband of many years got a devastating illness. He was a very hard worker and self-made man. I also own my own business. We worked for many years for what we had acquired and planned for our future retirement. Work was our primary existence. We wanted to set ourselves up for retirement. We purchased a couple of duplexes, and with our other income, though we could travel and enjoy our life once we retired.
My husband, I think, is like many men who took care of the finances and had his name on everything. I didn’t worry about it; we had been together for 27 years when he passed away, so I thought I was protected in the marriage.
Our story was a love story through ups and downs and ultimately with him passing at home in my arms – but that is for another tale.
Trying to Secure our Future
As my husband got sicker he was getting to the point he realized it was hard for him to function at total capacity. We decided to get a power of attorney. He wanted to give me all right to everything, including his health care, our finances, and our properties, and ultimately be able to add to our trust as needed.
Being conservative with our money, we found a lawyer who had been in practice for many years but charged what we considered a reasonable fee. In his office we filled out a power of attorney many pages; the lawyer went through everything. But of course, we trusted he knew what he was doing. We both signed and notarized.
A few months later, we put together trust in both our names, including all of our belongings, finances, and properties. This was my husbands’ third marriage and my second, so we both had kids from our first. He was a lot older than I was, so his kids were adults when we married; in fact, his oldest is about five years younger.
Even though his children were so dismissive and non-caring during his illness, I had a good relationship, except I was hurt and angry at how they seemed to have no compassion. Very little love for their father; it just got worse as he declined in health.
Figuring out a Way Forward
I had a part-time job with the state as a web developer. The sole purpose was for insurance. Being business owners the cost of insurance was very high. We paid for someone for a few months to be around to make sure he didn’t hurt himself once he got to that point. Very expensive – even with his kids living in the area, they couldn’t be bothered. They were no help at all.
Soon it became apparent he was not getting the care he needed so I ended up putting him on hospice at home; I didn’t want him to feel abandoned, and I wanted him to have all my love. quitting my job because, with hospice, he didn’t need the insurance and I was his full-time at-home caretaker.
Before doing that, I had to figure out how to take care of all our bills. We had two mortgages and various others debts, so I decided to sell one of the duplexes we owned and paid off my house, car and put money away for his needs.
Because I sold one duplex, I went back to my lawyer and said I need to amend the trust to take one of the duplexes off. We wrote an amendment. I signed it for myself and my husband. In this trust, I said his biological kids would get 200,000 when I sold the other duplex, which would be when I turned 65 because I needed the income up until then. Lawyer signed, notarized and all seem in place.
The Funeral and Aftermath
Nine months later, my husband passed away at home with me, my daughter, and her children (very much his grandchildren as well). It’s a long story and not one for this article. If you would like to read the journey, I kept a blog under a ghost name. I wrote in it for five years when he was sick – up until his death. https://survivinglifeafter50.com if interested.
My husband had so many friends and family at the funeral I had such a hard time. It was devastating losing my husband, just soul-crushing. After the funeral, his oldest son asked if he could get all the paperwork. I didn’t see a problem with that, and I gave it to him.
Three months later, I went to the mailbox, and there was a letter from the kids’ attorney suing me, asking for a list of everything we owned wanting to throw everything into probate. Telling me the trust was not valid etc.
I was so shocked – I wondered why suddenly I heard nothing from his daughter that I thought was so close. Reeling with the loss of my husband and now this. I called the attorney frantic who had set up all the paperwork, and he dismissed me – it was out of his hand.
Long Stressful Journey
This story has many twists and turns, but the bottom line is I had to get a good attorney, my daughter research, and I have to say I did get a fantastic lawyer, but of course, lawyers are expensive.
Three years of fighting – first, they said he had dementia at the time of a power of attorney (not true). I had records of him driving and going to the gym etc. We tried mediation; they wanted money from the sold duplex, their lawyers’ fee, my own home. They would not negotiate.
Finally, we went to court; they slandered my reputation, saying I was a schemer (27 yrs. of marriage). But the bottom-line was my original lawyer did not put one line in the power of attorney that allowed me to do that trust.
The Verdict
The judge said I was not a schemer and relied on my lawyer for the correct language. The language was not there one line was omitted. The judge threw out the trust, so guess what, I lost! The trust was found invalid and was thrown out.
The judge refused to give them money for the duplex we sold. He also refused to make me pay for their attorneys’ fees. I am sure are close to 50 thousand dollars, so a little bit of good news. Both my properties have to go through probate.
According to state law – IF there is no trust or will the children of the previous spouse get 50% – minus $75,000. So I have to give them the duplex and take a mortgage out on my house. Therefore my income from the duplex is gone – I have a mortgage on my home. They are entitled to approximately $500,000.
There goes my security that we worked so hard. I never thought I would be in this position at my age.
Please don’t wait to get a will and/or a trust. Make sure you have a good lawyer, preferably one whose specialty is in this area, and if needed, a valid Power – Of – Attorney. I am not sure if you are aware, but the Power-of-Attorney no longer stands once the spouse dies (or loved one).